Here's the info about
Emma's Choice, which can be purchased
here on Amazon (see previous post if you're confused about why I'm sharing this info):
About the story:
Emma
has her perfect life, complete with an adoring husband and two children. However, when tragedy strikes, Emma must
decide how she can possibly pick up the pieces of her shattered heart and
continue on. She pushes all outside help
away and moves halfway around the world to forget her problems.
Being
lonely is harder than Emma ever imagined, for the ghosts are constantly there
in her mind. Not wanting to betray her
family, but still wanting to live her life, Emma is faced with some big
decisions. With some help from two new
friends, Emma is able to find her way back out of the darkness.
Here's a sample:
I
couldn’t be noticed – that would spoil everything. Creeping slowly, ever so quietly, I snuck
towards them. As close to the freshly
cut grass as possible, I peeked around the shed and saw my targets. Holding the camera my husband, Jesse, had
gotten me last Christmas, I began taking snapshot after snapshot – not wanting
to miss a moment of the raking party.
Not many of the leaves were making it into the bags, but it didn’t
bother me one bit. I watched our seven
year old son, Alex, try to tackle his father into the pile Kady was busy
raking. At only five years old, she was
quite precocious and, at times, seemed far too mature for her age. This, however, wasn’t one of those times. Kady laughed and jumped on top of her father
to help her brother in the ensuing tickle fight.
The
crisp weather was perfect and reminded me why autumn was my favorite
season. I snapped more pictures as the
children, in their father’s footsteps, made large piles of leaves and tried to
see who could make the pile fly the farthest.
I was soon noticed and didn’t escape the leaf pile Jesse threw me in
with the kids laughing all the while.
“If you know what’s good for you, you’d –”
“I’d what?” Jesse interrupted, mockingly.
I tried to quickly think of a good threat that I would
actually follow through on. “No dinner!”
I exclaimed triumphant.
Jesse
looked at the kids with mock horror, and then lifted me out of the leaves. “I guess we’d better let Mom go, eh
guys?” The kids laughed and giggled as I
ran back inside.
I grabbed some chicken from the freezer, put it on a
plate, and stuck it in the microwave to start defrosting. I started to get out potatoes and carrots to
peel when Jesse and the kids walked through the door.
“Mom, guess what?! Guess what?!” Kady exclaimed as she
shook out her blonde pigtails.
I knew there was no chance of actually guessing right, so
I started the way I usually did. “Wait!
Let me guess…umm,” I drew it out for one long breath “you’re getting
married?! Oh honey! That’s so exciting!
Congrats! When do we get to meet the
lucky man?”
Kady
started laughing and said, “No, no, no!
I’m waaaay too young for that, Mom!”
“You’d better believe it.
Keep saying that for the next thirty years, okay kiddo?” Jesse
interjected comically.
“Ok, I give up.
What?” I chuckled.
“Dad says you need a break and we get to go out to eat
tonight!!” Our kids started jumping.
“Kids, your father is a very smart man, so I would listen
to him if I were you,” I told them while grinning at my husband, “but no one is
going anywhere until hands and faces are washed!” The kids ran off to the bathroom as I asked
Jesse, “Where are we going?”
“Your choice, babe.
I meant what I told the kids; you really do a lot for us and it’s time
for a night out. I’ll go wash up so that
we can get going,” he smiled at me as he headed in the same direction the kids
had gone. A moment later I heard delighted
screams as he snuck up on the kids with his best monster growl.
I decided that we were long overdue for a visit to my
favorite Japanese restaurant. The kids
loved how the chefs cooked and tossed the food right in front of them. The parking lot was always overcrowded, which
meant we spent more time trying to find a space than we did in the actual
restaurant, so we didn’t come here often.
Jesse dropped me and the kids off at the front, then drove off to find a
parking spot. We went in and were immediately
enveloped in the smell of sushi and noodles.
While we waited for Jesse to join us, we sat on a couch near the front
and talked. “Alex, how has school been
going? Do you still like your teacher?”
“School is fun!
Miss Merrill tells us about her boyfriend who is in the Army…or
something like that. And she makes math
fun, mom! Can you believe it?!” His
green eyes and brown hair made him the spitting image of his father, but his
face lit up with a childlike innocence that was all his own.
Chuckling, I answered, “No, I can’t.” Math wasn’t my strongest suit, but I was glad
that Alex had gotten a great teacher this year to help him with it. “What about your teacher, Kady? What have you been learning about?”
“My teacher is really
nice, but she makes us raise our hands before we tell a story,” Kady pouted.
“Hon, I know you love to tell everyone your wonderful
stories, but Mrs. Randall is right. It’s
important to take turns so that everyone can listen and learn.” I smiled to myself thinking about how
outgoing Kady is. Combine that with an
overactive imagination and you get lots
of stories all of the time.
Right
then Jesse walked in and we were led to our table. Jesse and I sat in the middle, with Alex on
my left and Kady, ever the daddy’s girl, on his right. The chef came out after we had our sodas and
asked if we were ready to order. His
nametag read, “Kai.” After taking our
orders, he enthusiastically said, “Okay, let’s get cooking!” After a lot of flipping, tossing, juggling,
and a fun onion fire, dinner was ready.
The kids chatted to each other across Jesse and I, and we enjoyed
listening to their conversation. It was
about Kady’s upcoming birthday party.
“Mom said I could have a pizza party just like you,
Alex!”
“Well, it won’t be as fun ‘cause you won’t have any boys
there,” Alex responded matter-of-factly.
“Uh-huh! Ryan and
Logan are coming! And who cares if boys
come? Girls rule and boys drool!” Kady
ended in a sing-song tone.
Jesse interrupted them, “Guys, if we can’t get along, we
can’t stop and get ice cream on the way home.”
Kady and Alex started talking over each other, “We can
get along! We’re not even fighting,
Dad.”
“Oh so you guys like ice cream? I was beginning to wonder,” Jesse teased.
“YES! We love it, Dad!” They were back on their
best behavior.
We were finishing up our meals when the waitress came by
with the check and reminded us to pay up front.
As we headed to the cash register, I groaned when I saw the long
line. This would take forever and the
kids were already antsy.
Jesse
heard me and said, “How about I take the kids on a hike to the car, and then
we’ll meet you out front?”
“Sounds like a plan.
Come here Kady, and I’ll help you with your coat.”
Kady brought her fluffy pink coat to me and I zipped it
up over her pink flower shirt. She
wanted a pink cake for her birthday – this girl had a fetish. I gave her a hug, and then she ran over to
her father. Alex already had his coat
on, but he came over and gave me a hug, too.
“Love
you, Mom,” he whispered in my ear.
“I
love you, too, bud. I’ll see you guys in
a bit, okay?”
Alex
nodded as he went over to grab Jesse’s hand.
I looked at Kady and said, “And I love you, too, sweet pea.”
She
giggled, “I love you, Mom!”
I went and hugged my husband who said, “We’ll wait for
you just out front, babe.”
I laughed, “Whatever.
I’ll be there before you guys even make it to the car!”
“We’ll see about that,” Jesse chuckled.
He
looked into my eyes for a long moment, and kissed me more passionately than
normal for a public place, until the kids started saying, “Ewwww! Dad!
Mom!”
We
laughed and the kids started pulling on Jesse’s arms, “C’mon, Dad! Let’s go!”
“I love you,” I smiled at Jesse as he was being pulled
away.
“Love you, too. So
much,” he gave me the smile that won me over from the start, then turned,
picked Kady up and grabbed Alex’s hand.
I walked over and got in line to pay. I had only moved a couple of feet when I
heard the squeal of tires against the pavement, followed by yelling coming from
the parking lot. Everyone inside looked
over to see what was going on. The man
in front of me commented loud enough for all to hear, “Oh great, that fender
bender is going to make it tough to get out of the parking lot.”
The
woman with him responded, “By the time we get through this line, I bet it’s all
cleaned up.”
Everyone
in line chuckled. I couldn’t help my
curiosity, and kept glancing out the front windows. A few minutes later, I was halfway through
the line. I heard the sound of distant
sirens. Suddenly, I felt queasy. Ambulances meant someone was hurt. I scanned the front of the parking lot and
saw no sign of our silver Honda and started panicking. Something didn’t feel right. I grabbed some cash out of my purse, threw it
in the general direction of the counter, and ran out the door just as the
ambulances were entering the rear parking lot.
I ran to the back corner of the parking lot where my worst nightmare
awaited.
I saw a small crowd of people scattered in three
separate, small circles. No, please, no, I thought. I pushed my way through the people and medics
carrying stretchers. I first saw Kady,
my baby girl, eyes closed, not moving, not breathing. My heart stopped beating. I turned my head to the right and saw Alex,
my firstborn, lying farther away in a position that could only mean his back
was broken. He wasn’t breathing,
either. There is too much blood. This
can’t be happening. I’ll wake up at any
moment. Please just let me wake up. I turned to where most of the people
were standing and saw my husband, lying there in a pool of blood, broken, but
someone doing CPR on him. Why wasn’t anyone doing CPR on our
children? Why was no one trying to save
them? Deep down, I knew the answer, but refused to accept it. I was sobbing uncontrollably and tried to let
someone know this is my family. “That’s
my…these are my…” I couldn’t finish a sentence, but one of the paramedics
understood and gently took my arm, pulling me away from my family. “No!” I shrieked. I had to be with my family.
He
calmly said, “Ma’am, we need to get your husband to the hospital. You need to get in the ambulance. You can ride in the back with him.”
I
tried to ask the question I didn’t want to know the answer to, “Our
children?”
The
paramedic didn’t have to say anything.
The look on his face, combined with a slow shaking of his head as he
looked down, said it all, “I’m so very sorry.”
My
world was slowly shattering around me. I
couldn’t grasp it. My head wouldn’t let
reality sink in yet. “What happened?” I
whispered.
The paramedic responded quietly, “Right now it looks like
a teenager was driving around, much too fast.
He was texting, not paying attention.
Your husband and children were crossing the road. Your husband tried to shield the children,
but it appears as though he only had seconds to realize what was happening. I’m sorry, but we need to get going.”
I saw my husband on the stretcher, in a neck brace, an IV
line being hooked up to him. Then I saw
what no parent should ever see: the body bags meant for my children. I was still sobbing as I climbed in the
ambulance after Jesse was loaded. This CAN’T be happening! The sirens wailed as we sped to the
hospital. There was a team of EMT’s
working on Jesse. I couldn’t even see
his face. I listened on and off during
the short ride and heard bits and pieces of what they were saying, “spinal cord
shattered…paralyzed if he makes it…major skull fracture…we need a
transfusion….are the surgeons ready?”
Nothing was registering. We
arrived at the hospital and my husband was whisked away to pre-op.
A
nurse came up to me and gently said, “Hi, I’m Shirley. I need you to come with me, Mrs. Anderson.”
I
didn’t respond, but wondered how she knew my name. She showed me to the pre-op room where two
surgeons were examining my husband. I
heard what seemed to be the end of their conversation. “…wouldn’t do any good.” One of the surgeons
interrupted the one who was talking. He
turned to me, “Are you his next of kin?”
I nodded, numbly, silent tears flowing down my cheeks,
“I’m Jesse’s wife, Emma.”
The surgeon nodded in acknowledgment, “There is too much
damage to his spinal cord; too much internal bleeding. You need to say your goodbyes. I’m so sorry.” I watched as the other surgeon sewed up my
husband’s scalp, his arm, his leg…so much blood. “Unfortunately, Emma, when your husband tried
to save your children, he turned his back towards the oncoming car. Your children died instantly. Your husband doesn’t have long. Is there anyone you want us to call for
you?” I couldn’t think, couldn’t concentrate
on the question. I just shook my
head. They both left the room after once
again giving me their apologies. I went
to Jesse’s bedside. His eyes were
closed. No! They said I had more time with him! NO! I gently pressed my hand against the side of
his face. With great effort, he opened
his eyes and looked at me.
“I love you, babe.
Don’t ever forget that,” he whispered hoarsely.
I was sobbing again, “Please don’t go, Jess. Please. I can’t lose you. Not you, too,” I begged him through the tears.
Something
registered on his face, “The kids?”
I
shook my head while I cried.
Tears
ran down his cheeks. “I’m sorry, Em. I
tried. The car was coming so fast. I’m sorry.”
I put my fingers over his lips, “I know you tried, I
know. Listen to me. This is not your fault. Don’t think that way ever. Just focus on getting
better. You have to get better,” I tried
to will some life into him.
He looked at me with a sympathetic expression and
squeezed my hand, “Em, you are the love of my life. Don’t ever forget that. But just because I’m dying, doesn’t mean you
have to, too. I need you to live your
life. You’re young, gorgeous, and have
the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever known.
Don’t be alone – don’t be afraid to love again.”
I was sobbing as I tried to choke out a response to make
him understand, “No. NO! I can’t…no. You are my husband and I love you.
No one else. Nothing will change
that, even death,” my voice broke on the last word. Jesse was just preparing for the worst, like
always. He was always so prepared even
when it wasn’t needed. Like now. As gently as I could, I climbed up on the bed
next to him and just lay with him. He
held me the best he could and I clung to him like a lifeline. This couldn’t be happening. It just couldn’t.
“Please
don’t go,” I pleaded in a whisper.
“Aw, babe, you know I would stay if I had a choice,” his
voice was strained. I could hear his
breathing getting slower and slower, more and more shallow.
“No, please, no,” I stroked his face, then leaned in and
kissed him, willing him to stay with me.
He looked at me with a peaceful expression and whispered,
“I love you Emma Nicole Anderson. I will
always be with you.”
“I love you, too, Jesse Robert Anderson,” the tears had
never stopped, and I leaned in again and kissed him one last time. As I pulled back, I heard the heart monitor
stop beeping and just stay in one line.
Nurses and doctors rushed in, checking my husband’s vitals. Someone gently pulled me away. I heard someone’s hysterical cries, realized
they were my own, turned and grabbed the nurse holding my arm and sobbed into
her shoulder.
